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It is nevertheless agreed that a substantial minority of buccaneer matelots were likely homosexual. Although a few historians have claimed, with no evidence, that homosexuality was universal among the buccaneers, it is recognized by most that matelots shared women as well as their chattels, and that buccaneers were frequent and enthusiastic patrons of female prostitutes. The extent to which matelotage included homosexuality is controversial. Matelots shared their beds, property, food, and loot with one another. Matelotage is a lifelong male/male partnership practiced among Tortugan buccaneers the participants in such a partnership are called matelots.
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But the aforementioned cursory Google search reveals something more: a little term called “matelotage.” Knowing that, we can expect pirates would probably be fairly indifferent towards two crewmen getting their mack on. So why does the pirate captain care so very much about who’s buggering who aboard his ship?įor everyone going “but wait! sodomy was illegal! that’s why he hated them!”, I would like to take a moment to remind you that THEY. Given the title of the song, we can assume that all the events take place aboard a pirate ship. Which brings us to point #2: Historical accuracy, and the complete lack of it in “Gay Pirates”. However, if you’re trying to bring awareness to a serious issue, you might want to actually research said issue. Or perhaps they wanted to bring attention to the persecution of queer people in history a fine goal indeed. But again, the torture is so fucking cartoonish in its severity that it overshoots clever juxtaposition and becomes straight-up jarring. Maybe they were trying to have a dramatic contrast between the adorable romance (focused on in the chorus) and the literal physical torment of being gay on a pirate ship (the focus of the verses).
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Speaking of, what the hell was Cosmo Jarvis’ intention? It’s so over-the-top it almost transcends horror to become funny in a sick sort of way, which we can only hope was not Cosmo Jarvis’ intention. It’s not just the unbelievable volume of the torture Sebastian’s lover goes through, it’s the odd specificity with which it’s lovingly described. They are given saltwater to drink (which is essentially a death sentence) beaten, whipped, AND lashed (again, you’d think just one flogging with a cat-o’-nine-tails would do the trick, but no) and forced to walk in glass-filled sandals, which sounds like a great way to sever a tendon and be rendered permanently lame, if not hit an artery and bleed the fuck out.Īdd all that together, and “Gay Pirates” starts to look a bit like Saw at sea. You’d think that’d be enough torture for one homosexual love ballad, but wait, there’s more! Not even twenty seconds into the song itself, we are explicitly informed that at least one of the gay pirates is gang-raped every single night by the rest of the crew. The major issues with the song “Gay Pirates” by Cosmo Jarvis are twofold, somewhat intertwined, and as follows:Ī quick look at the lyrics shows us this song really, REALLY wants to tell us all about every single horrible thing Cosmo Jarvis thinks a gay pirate would go through.